Change of Wind

These few weeks, I’ve honestly been so much in the sinking mood. So much to think, consider, weight, take care of. So many weird pressures at work. So many interpolations at life. I didn’t feel like doing anything, even socializing. There was slightly the urge to do crazy things: bungee jump, sky dive. In the end, I kept on sinking deeper into my shell. But I’m glad I took the necessary to move to make the change.

I strong heartedly decided to cycle, went to east coast, no matter what, even it had to be alone. I felt like doing it. I need to pushed every burden inside out. I wasn’t alone in the end. It was with a friend of mine. A new friend but we have always been able to talk and share a lot. It was fun, though tiring. More than fun, it was totally relieving. It was also quite beneficial since we could share our thoughts and opened the mind of one another. When it was Monday, I was just so glad I decided to do it. I could just face the Monday differently. Not so much resenting it.

And just today. I met a friend I met on the net for like 7 years (?). So long but we’ve never met although we kept a good contact of each other and kept on talking different things. In the beginning I was a bit nervous but I insisted to myself that it’s time and I’m so glad that we did. It was really nice and interesting. I just feel I’ve known her for so long but now I know her personally. So if you’re reading this, I feel grateful. Thanks. Like I mentioned, let’s do it again next time .

Living in Singapore, separated from your loved ones, family, relatives, friends might take its toll. You may start forgetting about the importance of socializing, getting tied up totally with work, missing the balance of life, or even being individualistic. You may start feeling empty. Now when it happens to me again, I just need to remind myself that I can’t let the routines eat up the best of me. When it happens, make the shift! Since it’s only you yourself who can urge yourself to do it. Happy Wednesday! Weekend and Halloween are coming like fast!

It’s raining cats and dogs

“It’s raining cats and dogs” – a saying first introduced by my best friend’s father who happened to be my English teacher at the time when I was in senior high school. It’s been years ago, and I have never happened to use it anymore that I completely forgot there’s such saying. It’s until a friend of mine said it to me several weeks ago then I remembered.

Memories, they feel like illusions. You could be so joyful during your trip, laugh as hard you as you could, but in the end when it’s passed, it’s gone. When it comes to the sadness, it’s hard to recall those happy things lost. I feel sad when I know I’m having difficulty to remember the sight of my hometown, the town I lived for most of my life and we’re only several years apart.

That’s perhaps why I love pictures, treasure them so much. Because they’re the only way I can hold dear my old memories that this and that did really happen. Some people were really close to me but as time gone by, we are apart, we barely even talk anymore. But everytime I saw those pictures, it’s the proof that there had ever been some bonding between us. A friend that I stepped his glasses over, a friend that chanted the same songs with me together in the classroom, a friend that came together with me to do many stupid pranks. Those memories are real, as much as they feel like an illusion.

Now they’re gone. Those things gone are not returning. Every second passed was meant to be it. Those people close to you know even those who you love so much, perhaps they will be just for this instance. They may not be everlasting. But again, maybe what really matters is now? But again, perhaps it’s just the same for everyone? Then it should be satisfying enough that, your existence has made a positive difference for some people. It’s perhaps enough to prevent your heart or others’ hearts to rain cats and dogs.

My Adulthood Nostalgia

These days, in these recent weeks, I’ve been often spending my nights watching all those music or story videos from the long list of game titles I have played at my childhood or teenage. I just can’t seem to imagine of how many free times I had at those days! I spent unbelievably enormous TIME lurking around inside the game world, pushing through the miniscules and tiny bit of the game, spending my days at school and courses conversing on how to beat the puzzling part of the title – without getting bored. I’m totally envious of my little me!

I remember I spent my elementary life playing tetris, nintendo or playing with my sister. Whereas I nearly spent my whole secondary and high school playing Playstation (2), PC games of those titles that I can only remember as the greatest titles ever made for any game consoles/handhelds – and bash many newer titles that the current generation plays. I think this is how I’m gonna feel when I’m becoming older and older just like my parents when they’re seeing Broery Marantika, Ko-ping-ho (or whatsoever that novel title is) these days.

And everytime these days, when I’m playing tetris in my Pocket PC, listening to those songs of those game titles or re-watching those game videos in YouTube, I just can’t help to be, in blue again. This could really be my adulthood nostalgia and perhaps many people of my generation. And factually, there’s no need to wait even until I grow older, I already sense the symptom.. with my free time diminishing.

I think I was playing Fatal Frame at that time. Can't believe we were so engrossed!

Hourglass

How short human life is. X-ty years and counting. Only a tiny variable of time dimension, coming without a long and complicated equation. Minus some for slumber, deduct a chunk for daily necessities of boring repetitive daily routines, donate parts to the tasks we don’t like but inevitably do, and still it’s away for many other negativities. What we have left then in the equity?

How pitiful human life can be. Living to the fullest and kicking. Its fate later to be snatched away on some random accidents, unlucky diseases, flying bullets. You’re in the height of the success in a moment and left crushed in the next second. Are you even at least left with a merciful second to think how unfair it is?

How squandered human life may be. Given and thrown. Spending the life for whatever war and mischieves, sacking yours for whoever dead idol, exploding your own away to take others for whichever belief. Is that for some reasoning or it’s taken for granted?

Don’t trust Albert Einstein, there is no time relativity. Time just flows like a constant speeding pace even at mind. 1, 10, 20 and it comes exponentially, suddenly you’re there at the end. How many clicks do we have left? How are we going to use them? Some are crying for better odds, some are blaming the unfair God, some are just torn before… born. Triumphant by birth, blessed by goodness, are we doing any better?

Whether it’ll be an I who could be enough of sharing happiness to others – I don’t know if I will. If I’ll just be able to inspire others, I don’t know. And if all the dreams and the hopes, in the end I fail to achieve, please spare me. I will try to spare myself at the end. Since perhaps it’s just perfect enough, if it ends with a smile.

Wealth and Happiness

Wealth increases human happiness when it lifts people out of abject poverty and into the middle class but not thereafter (Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness.
The bewildering array of choices that wealth brings not only doesn’t make us happier but actually erodyes our psychological well-being. (Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice).
Spending money on other people has a more positive impact on happiness than spending money on oneself. (Dunn et al., Spending Money on Others Promotes Happiness).
Quoted from some page of Boing Boing, to remind myself that money doesn’t ascertain happiness. In many cases, it doesn’t bring true happiness. But again, can you be happy without money?