Before the finale of 2009

When 2008 was ending, I mentioned that at 2009 I might not be able to achieve as much as I did at 2008, I was wrong. Now I promise myself, I wouldn’t say that thing again, next year should be better!

The 2009 is coming to finale, and although many things are not going well, I know I’ve managed to achieve my biggest goal this year and obtained some others which I will do a recap, not now, but at the end of the year. Things are not going well, but it doesn’t mean you should lose your spirit, for a man who loses his spirit is as good as dead. Someone told me there are two kind of things, those you can control and those you can’t, she’s right – thanks as always. Since there are still many things I can have control at, I shouldn’t stop. So when life is tough, you just have to be tougher .

Let’s not talk about 2010 yet, 2009 is ending but it doesn’t end yet. So I still have the following things I wanna accomplish before biding lovely farewell.

A work, I wanna finish my engagements with two clients well this year. My long relationship with one client, I will finish their budget cycle this year well although I’ve said I’m giving up the support to someone else next year if they ever continue the contract to my boss, but I’m committed at least I have to do a good job. And guess what, I think I have the luxury to pamper myself that I’ve done so far done quite a good job supporting them since surprisingly they continue their contract – although it’s also thanks to my precious team mates. Another client, it’s a love and hate relationship and I was dumped in the middle to handle ‘em, I don’t think I’ve done practically anything big, but with God blessing, at least let’s give the final kicking to let them sign off. I also wanna learn if can be OBIEE, but since opportunity is not really coming yet – almost there, but lost – no issue, I can still wait -, I will take my time to learn many stuffs – after all I have access to the bank of installers and play around with them.

At life, I wanna at least finish my issues well before the year is ending. My family is coming this end of year, so hopefully I can be a good tour guide and make sure they’re having fun time. I’ve done what  I could to at least help with accomodation and transportation.

So then let 2009 ends, and I will welcome 2010. I still have another month to recompose my plan next year and I already have one grandious goal – I still need to see the feastability of solutions, as I am an IT person. Till then, it’s happy vacation for myself! Ciao!

Solo fun!

Today, for the first time in my life, I watched a movie in a theater alone. No other companion except some random unknown couples sitting on the right and on the left – ugh. My first impression, it’s indeed handy since you could just come to the the hardest-to-get-the-seats-theater in the last minute (in fact the movie had begun for a while) bought the ticket and just squeezed in. The next thing I know, it was total fun! I feel like I threw my penny for something really worthy – good movie, good seating position, good theater ( I still miss EX Premiere though), it’s been a while since I had this. In fact, I missed like 5 titles recently or watched some others in crappy theatres.

The 2012 movie was indeed as good as it was advertised. OK, if you expect a strong story line or unexpected turn-over, I concede since the story is typical apocalypse movie – the world-end is coming faster than expected, some random guys managed to pull out in the dire situations, heroic actions, blah blah. But if you expect very cool actions, very high quality CGI (unlike the scenes of GI Joe which seemed like some random budget movie), explosions here and there, this is the movie for you – I still clearly remember the scene of the airplane trying to avoid a flying subway train and tons of sinking buildings!

Afterwards, I headed to Bugis National Library. After randomly browsing around, finally I settled down on a spot with transparent glass facing directly to Singapore’s Flyer and Singapore new downtown area – a perfect spot for your book. I sat down on the carpet floor, leaning my back to the bottom of a couch and began my book. It was a book written by  Mahattir – his opinion towards globalization. The book was quite interesting since it gave an idea why Mahattir was never supportive US and its politics. Why he remained a controversial figure until his resignation. I never knew that Mahattir was a fan of Japanese policy and had a thought that Japan should actually led the Asia instead of being a follower of US’ policy, that he had been to Japan for more than 50 times. That he thought Asia should remained on its own way of managing the economy and politics instead of adopting western’s model for the sake of western’s globalization and many random stuffs. I didn’t finish the book due to the fact I fell asleep like nearly an hour.

Away from the library, crossing some junctions, taking a bus, I was then already at Clarke Quay, grabbing a large set of my fav Bak Kut Teh. After trying a few other famous Bakkutteh in SG, I still think that the Clarke Quay is the tastiest. The rest of the sets have too much of herb in the soup which I can’t come to liking. This Clarke Quay – Song Fa – Bak Kut Teh is different. It contains more pepper and no herb which is really kicking for me.

End of trip, I hit Chinatown to settle the year end accommodation for my family who is coming for old and new, had a bit of chat with the landlady. Then I walked down, bought a shampoo, and then away at the MRT to home.

Having fun alone is not so bad apparently since you can entirely be selfish and just do the things you really want without considering other persons’ interest. I may do this again one day, but in the mean time, I will spend my weekend and Saturday night. Oh I still have to do research for my upcoming trip(s) before year end!

The brighter side of life

Today, I was on an errand. It was actually a good feeling, when everyone was totally hooked up with their work on the seats of their offices, I was instead crawling on the street, moving from here and there looking through my shopping list. Something I’ve never done for quite a while. I was looking up to the expressway from over a pedestrian bridge, when the crowd of the cars dashing over going to each destination. What a busy life. Two hours later, in the overly neat city, for the first time I actually saw a car crashed upon another car. Not anything big, just the car bumped a bit over the car in the front leaving some curving on both cars. But it was a great thing, with only a little conversation, they moved the car to the side of the road out of their conscience in order not to block the other cars. What a different level of people-awareness compared to my compatriots. Again, I felt how life was really interesting. With so many things happening and so many difficulties, I still thought it’s great to be alive. Without the life there’s no such experience. What about death that is not scary then?

I remember someone told me that she was about to commit suicide out of desperation. Another one put up a picture of slitting his own wrist. I would just about to shout, “Get a grip! You’re not the most miserable person in this life!” I really don’t think their situations no matter how I try to picture them deserve anyway in taking their own life. There are just so many people who are having worse life but still struggling to survive. Those people in Ethiopia – endless civic wars, hungers, pirates -, those people in Afghan or Iraq, or even those who live in the worst prison in the world, which part of you could be worse than them? You are not in poverty, you still have your free-will, you are not being tortured, perhaps then you can start by not acting like you’re in such. I know so many people who are in hardship but can still always think positive. So if you read this, start cherishing your life by at least giving yourself a proper respect.

And nevertheless when things are not good as in the moment, and my sense of happiness and sadness don’t really work, I still can sense bit by bit the wind of bliss. So then as the year’s ending, I need to try to recompose my drives. The drives I’ve lost for a while to at least drag my feet further. If I can love rain so much, I should be able to dance with the smile within it right?

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Change of Wind

These few weeks, I’ve honestly been so much in the sinking mood. So much to think, consider, weight, take care of. So many weird pressures at work. So many interpolations at life. I didn’t feel like doing anything, even socializing. There was slightly the urge to do crazy things: bungee jump, sky dive. In the end, I kept on sinking deeper into my shell. But I’m glad I took the necessary to move to make the change.

I strong heartedly decided to cycle, went to east coast, no matter what, even it had to be alone. I felt like doing it. I need to pushed every burden inside out. I wasn’t alone in the end. It was with a friend of mine. A new friend but we have always been able to talk and share a lot. It was fun, though tiring. More than fun, it was totally relieving. It was also quite beneficial since we could share our thoughts and opened the mind of one another. When it was Monday, I was just so glad I decided to do it. I could just face the Monday differently. Not so much resenting it.

And just today. I met a friend I met on the net for like 7 years (?). So long but we’ve never met although we kept a good contact of each other and kept on talking different things. In the beginning I was a bit nervous but I insisted to myself that it’s time and I’m so glad that we did. It was really nice and interesting. I just feel I’ve known her for so long but now I know her personally. So if you’re reading this, I feel grateful. Thanks. Like I mentioned, let’s do it again next time .

Living in Singapore, separated from your loved ones, family, relatives, friends might take its toll. You may start forgetting about the importance of socializing, getting tied up totally with work, missing the balance of life, or even being individualistic. You may start feeling empty. Now when it happens to me again, I just need to remind myself that I can’t let the routines eat up the best of me. When it happens, make the shift! Since it’s only you yourself who can urge yourself to do it. Happy Wednesday! Weekend and Halloween are coming like fast!